Read it again

Have you ever had to take an open-note history test? But the notes were yours to make. So you read the book, and you jotted down everything you found while reading the chapter. And then you take the test, with nothing to help you but a pencil and your notes. You come across a problem you just can't figure out. So you consult your notes, review what you remember, what the teacher has said before, what you took down from the book. And then, satisfied that you thought it through, you mark your answer and continue on.

Two days later you get the test handed back to you, now graded. Seeing you didn't get a perfect score you skim through it to check what you missed. And it's that problem, you missed that problem. Even after you read the chapter in the book, you listened to the teacher, you wrote down notes, and you consulted those notes to answer the question. You had been so sure you were right, because you had studied, you made sure. But you still got the question wrong.

Life can be compared to taking a history test. You live your book of life, taking notes as you go. Everything that happens to you, you learn from it. You learn from what others, like the teacher, tell you. You remember what you can. Then you come across something that happens or something you have to do, so you go back and review your notes. You think about the situation, and everything you know, everything you've learned, and you deal with the problem. But then, you didn't do it right, you didn't answer correctly. You were wrong.
But how could you be wrong? You listened to your teacher, you read the chapter, you took your notes. How could you be wrong, you did everything you were supposed to.

It never occurs to you that maybe, you took down your notes, but you misinterpreted what you read. You misunderstood. And because of that, it doesn't matter what you wrote in your notes or read in the chapter, or how sure you were. You didn't understand. You were wrong.

Don't be the person who blames the grader and does nothing else about it. Accept that maybe you misunderstood the chapter. Read it again.

Nothing

When I die
I don’t wish for Heaven
or for Hell
or even Purgatory.

I don’t really want to be
reincarnated.
I do not hope for any sort of 
life after death.

I don’t place faith in a religion,
due to fear of dying 
or whatever comes next.

I am not afraid to die.
I’ll accept death when it comes. 
Be it now, tomorrow,
or fifty years from now.

I would like to think that death
truly is the end.
That when I die,
I’m truly gone.

That the energy leaves
my body
and is reused elsewhere. 
But that my consciousness ends.

Nothingness.
Like a dreamless sleep.
Is all I want.

I want to rest
for life itself is enough
to make me tired.

If you cared for me while I lived,
cremate me,
and plant a willow tree
with my ashes.

Watch it grow.

Then sit beneath it with me.
And enjoy the life you are living,
While I rest in peace. 

~Kari Tobler 

Have you ever?

~Felt like your entire world has come apart?

~Felt ashamed of yourself because you know that someone else is having more problems than you?

~Not told anyone about your problems because you are too ashamed to admit that you have any?

~Wanted to strangle someone because they talk about their problems way too much?

~Wanted to hurry up and move out of your parents house?

~Suddenly realized how terrified you are of moving out as reality smacks you in the face?

~Called your best friend in tears with a broken heart?

~Called your best friend in tears with a broken heart, but all they cared about was her own problems and you wound up comforting them instead?

~Cried PURE tears for somebody you love, but soon came to realize they never have and never will do the same for you?

~Checked your weight and wanted to cry?

~Tried so hard to lose a pound but gained one instead?

~Considered Anorexia or Bulimea as an easy way out?

~Had so much homework you dont even know where to start?

~ Wondered why suddenly everything seems to be going wrong, and have had no Idea how to fix it?

~Felt completely alone?

~Done homework for so long that you are almost in tears because you are only part way done and its due tomorow?

~Simply given up and gotten an F because you are so worn out, even if it isn't like you to do that?

~Worked the hardest you've ever worked in you life?

~Worked the hardest you ever worked in your life and the person whose opinion is the only one that matters to you told you that you are lazy and haven't worked hardly at all?

~Prayed to a god you don't even believe in?

~Been that best person you could possibly be for someone, and still never been enough?

~Catered to someones every need and loved them with everything you have, and barely get anything in return?

~Wished to god that the one you care about cared about you too?

~Just wished people would accept you for who you are, and enjoy your company anyways, without judgement?

~ Hated yourself for being so typical, then hated yourself even more because its so typical to hate yourself?

~Not opened up fully to anybody that when you actually try to your body litterally rejects it and you shut down? You start to shake and suddenly you cant even remember what you were going to say.

~Finally found someone to open up to, who knows your heart and soul back and forward, someone you always thought you would die without, and then actually lost them?

~Just wished you could fall asleep and never wake up?

~Felt like you are barely making ends meet? Barely getting by and hanging by a thread?

~Been there for everybody you know everytime they have every needed you, and you have never complained once, then the one time you finally need someone desperately, No one is there for you?

.

.I have.

.

It doesn't matter who you are, it doesn't matter if you think this is cheasy. It doesn't matter if you haven't experienced a few of these. If you know what it feels like to experience ANY of this, then read the whole thing over again, and this time think of somebody you know. Think of that one kid at school who doesn't have any friends, even if theres a reason its like that. Think of that one friend you barely know but call a friend anyways. Think of the person sitting next to you, the person who lives in the same house as you, The person who gave you life, The teacher you see every day. That person you cannot stand. That person who has always been there for you. That person you never talk to anymore. The person you may have neglected, The person who has neglected you. Think of yourself. Everybody, no matter how happy they seem, has cried alone at some point in their life. Everybody who laughs at school or work, who has a seemingly perfect life, can relate to this post. When you are at your angriest, and want someone to go die alone in a hole, think about how much pain they've felt. Realize that they may be completely different from you, but they have felt your pain. Just as you have felt theirs. Realize that they are just floundering in life with their head barely above the waterline just like you are. And even if you truely aren't, even if this whole post really has nothing to do with you, realize that that person is still floundering, someone you know relates to this post. Someone you know or maybe even care about, has problems and feels terribly alone.

.

I have been betrayed, decieved, neglected, patronized, forgotten, Hated, Loved. And every person who has ever done me wrong, has always been forgiven. I can go into my grave with peace in my heart, holding no grudges. Because I always remember that even though someone is treating me wrong, they are also being wronged at the same time by someone I may not even know. Can you say the same for youself? Once you've read this, you will more than likely ask yourself that question, and more that likely your first answer will be yes. Its the natural human defense, but think more honestly. Always try to do your best by everyone. No matter what happens, be the better person. Have human compassion and learn what it truely means to forgive. Because if you live by this code, it shouldn't matter what happens when you die, it shouldn't matter what god is real, where you go, what religion you follow. If you are a good person with a good heart, you dont need to worry. And in the end, you will have touched a life in an important way. You will have helped another, and maybe even yourself.

Love?

Love has many different variations. Many, Many people try to describe what Love is. Some I can relate to, some a little too fantastic to believe. Many people go through life trying to find Love, thinking they might be in Love. Love is so variated, because each person feels in differently. Like a snowflake drifting through the wind, it is never the same as any other and it is very hard to attain.

   I do not know everything about Love. All I know is what I have experienced, heard of, and read about. My own image of Love may be very different from anothers, better or worse. But I know that the Love I experience is true.

   Love is something extarordinary. It's felt not only with the mind, but also with the soul. It's when you become attatched to someone in a way that is different from all others. You care for this person, so much so that their well-being is often more important to you than your own. This person is someone you understand, you may not be able to finish their sentences, but you know how they feel in certain situations and how they would react. You enjoy spending as much time with them as possible, and they bring a certain happiness into your life that many others cannot. If they are in Love with you aswell, you can be around this person with comfort and ease. There is no need for facades. You trust this person, not only with your secrets, but also with your emotions. And you are just as much faithful to them. You would never do anything to harm this person, physically or mentally, unless you were given no choice. Wherever that person is, is where you want to be. But if that person needs space, you have no problem to give it to them. Love is selfless, compassionate, and unconditional. It is understanding and forgiving. Patient and careful. Love is undoubtful. "True Love" Is not a feeling you are unsure about. You cannot guess that you are in Love. If you are in Love, then you know it. You feel it, like there is an unknown nerve somewhere inside you that can only recieve love. Like when you feel a person tap you on the shoulder. You felt it, you instinctively know that it was a person without having turned around. You know they have poked you, without having seen the touch. You feel love, it becomes a part of you. An instinct of devotion. A desire to please. They may make you happy, they may also make you sad. They may not be in Love with you, they may hurt you, they may not care for you as you care for them. But if you truly Love them, then you cannot bear hatred for them. You may be angry, but in your heart you will forgive them because your Love for them holds more power over hate. There is no room for both. When you Love someone truly, it is uneffected by others. Uneffeted by forces such as distance or death. The only thing that can effect Love is the person you are in Love with. And even then, that is uncertain.     This is partly a general view of Love, and partly an understanding of my own experience with Love. This is what I believe to be true.

My advice

Be upfront. Be confident. And just go for it. If you want something then ask for it. Work for it. Be honest. Speak the truth even if your voice shakes. Never shut up. Always ask questions. Because if you never ask you will never know. And if you never ask, the answer will always be no.

By C.S. Lewis

~Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.~

Good Over Bad

    More people need to stop worrying about the Bad more than the Good. Yes, aweful things happen. Yes, it's immpossible to get over sometimes, but 'slapping around in your own mud puddle' and complaining all of the time will get you nowhere. It's hard to see the good, but if you look for it, you will find it, and you will be a happier person. 40% of your unhappiness is due to bad happenings in your life, and 60% is because of your unwillingness to get over the bad happenings in your life. You may have many losses, but what about what you've gained? There are people out there who had so little, who where violated of any happinesss they could posses, but what got them by was something so simple, and so forgranted. Something like a dream. Their happiness lay in the dream that one day they would make themselves happy. That one day they would achieve happiness. And they worked for it. And any little once of something good they recieved, it was considered a heaven sent gift. They search out the good, and they found small things that get them by. And over time, the small things became large things.

    Other people, who have been violated of their happiness, people who don't look for good, people who never forget the bad, who hold it with them no matter what, who can't look past it; Those people almost never get anywhere. They only see the bad, they mourn and they mope, and they wait for something good to happen to them. They sit in their own sorrow, and place blame everywhere else, and they grow up to be pitiful. They only get back the effort they put in. And they live a sad existence for the rest of their life, until they die. It's horrible.

   You have to LOOK for happiness, and looking takes WORK. I.E. You have to work for happiness. Don't assume that because you can't think of one good thing in your life at the moment, that it isn't there. You just aren't looking hard enough. You aren't trying hard enough. Just air in your lungs, a goal in your heart, food on your plate, sunlight on your face, grass between your toes, a nice bed to rest your body, any small thing could be your happiness. Then you take that happiness, and you add on to it until there are pletny little things to induce happiness. When you are at your roughest moment, grieve as much as you want, but what seperates you from others is if in your grief, you take a single minute to stop thinking about how awefull life is and look at what makes Life worth living. Because the happiest people are those who can appreciate the little things.