Read it again

Have you ever had to take an open-note history test? But the notes were yours to make. So you read the book, and you jotted down everything you found while reading the chapter. And then you take the test, with nothing to help you but a pencil and your notes. You come across a problem you just can't figure out. So you consult your notes, review what you remember, what the teacher has said before, what you took down from the book. And then, satisfied that you thought it through, you mark your answer and continue on.

Two days later you get the test handed back to you, now graded. Seeing you didn't get a perfect score you skim through it to check what you missed. And it's that problem, you missed that problem. Even after you read the chapter in the book, you listened to the teacher, you wrote down notes, and you consulted those notes to answer the question. You had been so sure you were right, because you had studied, you made sure. But you still got the question wrong.

Life can be compared to taking a history test. You live your book of life, taking notes as you go. Everything that happens to you, you learn from it. You learn from what others, like the teacher, tell you. You remember what you can. Then you come across something that happens or something you have to do, so you go back and review your notes. You think about the situation, and everything you know, everything you've learned, and you deal with the problem. But then, you didn't do it right, you didn't answer correctly. You were wrong.
But how could you be wrong? You listened to your teacher, you read the chapter, you took your notes. How could you be wrong, you did everything you were supposed to.

It never occurs to you that maybe, you took down your notes, but you misinterpreted what you read. You misunderstood. And because of that, it doesn't matter what you wrote in your notes or read in the chapter, or how sure you were. You didn't understand. You were wrong.

Don't be the person who blames the grader and does nothing else about it. Accept that maybe you misunderstood the chapter. Read it again.

Nothing

When I die
I don’t wish for Heaven
or for Hell
or even Purgatory.

I don’t really want to be
reincarnated.
I do not hope for any sort of 
life after death.

I don’t place faith in a religion,
due to fear of dying 
or whatever comes next.

I am not afraid to die.
I’ll accept death when it comes. 
Be it now, tomorrow,
or fifty years from now.

I would like to think that death
truly is the end.
That when I die,
I’m truly gone.

That the energy leaves
my body
and is reused elsewhere. 
But that my consciousness ends.

Nothingness.
Like a dreamless sleep.
Is all I want.

I want to rest
for life itself is enough
to make me tired.

If you cared for me while I lived,
cremate me,
and plant a willow tree
with my ashes.

Watch it grow.

Then sit beneath it with me.
And enjoy the life you are living,
While I rest in peace. 

~Kari Tobler 

Have you ever?

~Felt like your entire world has come apart?

~Felt ashamed of yourself because you know that someone else is having more problems than you?

~Not told anyone about your problems because you are too ashamed to admit that you have any?

~Wanted to strangle someone because they talk about their problems way too much?

~Wanted to hurry up and move out of your parents house?

~Suddenly realized how terrified you are of moving out as reality smacks you in the face?

~Called your best friend in tears with a broken heart?

~Called your best friend in tears with a broken heart, but all they cared about was her own problems and you wound up comforting them instead?

~Cried PURE tears for somebody you love, but soon came to realize they never have and never will do the same for you?

~Checked your weight and wanted to cry?

~Tried so hard to lose a pound but gained one instead?

~Considered Anorexia or Bulimea as an easy way out?

~Had so much homework you dont even know where to start?

~ Wondered why suddenly everything seems to be going wrong, and have had no Idea how to fix it?

~Felt completely alone?

~Done homework for so long that you are almost in tears because you are only part way done and its due tomorow?

~Simply given up and gotten an F because you are so worn out, even if it isn't like you to do that?

~Worked the hardest you've ever worked in you life?

~Worked the hardest you ever worked in your life and the person whose opinion is the only one that matters to you told you that you are lazy and haven't worked hardly at all?

~Prayed to a god you don't even believe in?

~Been that best person you could possibly be for someone, and still never been enough?

~Catered to someones every need and loved them with everything you have, and barely get anything in return?

~Wished to god that the one you care about cared about you too?

~Just wished people would accept you for who you are, and enjoy your company anyways, without judgement?

~ Hated yourself for being so typical, then hated yourself even more because its so typical to hate yourself?

~Not opened up fully to anybody that when you actually try to your body litterally rejects it and you shut down? You start to shake and suddenly you cant even remember what you were going to say.

~Finally found someone to open up to, who knows your heart and soul back and forward, someone you always thought you would die without, and then actually lost them?

~Just wished you could fall asleep and never wake up?

~Felt like you are barely making ends meet? Barely getting by and hanging by a thread?

~Been there for everybody you know everytime they have every needed you, and you have never complained once, then the one time you finally need someone desperately, No one is there for you?

.

.I have.

.

It doesn't matter who you are, it doesn't matter if you think this is cheasy. It doesn't matter if you haven't experienced a few of these. If you know what it feels like to experience ANY of this, then read the whole thing over again, and this time think of somebody you know. Think of that one kid at school who doesn't have any friends, even if theres a reason its like that. Think of that one friend you barely know but call a friend anyways. Think of the person sitting next to you, the person who lives in the same house as you, The person who gave you life, The teacher you see every day. That person you cannot stand. That person who has always been there for you. That person you never talk to anymore. The person you may have neglected, The person who has neglected you. Think of yourself. Everybody, no matter how happy they seem, has cried alone at some point in their life. Everybody who laughs at school or work, who has a seemingly perfect life, can relate to this post. When you are at your angriest, and want someone to go die alone in a hole, think about how much pain they've felt. Realize that they may be completely different from you, but they have felt your pain. Just as you have felt theirs. Realize that they are just floundering in life with their head barely above the waterline just like you are. And even if you truely aren't, even if this whole post really has nothing to do with you, realize that that person is still floundering, someone you know relates to this post. Someone you know or maybe even care about, has problems and feels terribly alone.

.

I have been betrayed, decieved, neglected, patronized, forgotten, Hated, Loved. And every person who has ever done me wrong, has always been forgiven. I can go into my grave with peace in my heart, holding no grudges. Because I always remember that even though someone is treating me wrong, they are also being wronged at the same time by someone I may not even know. Can you say the same for youself? Once you've read this, you will more than likely ask yourself that question, and more that likely your first answer will be yes. Its the natural human defense, but think more honestly. Always try to do your best by everyone. No matter what happens, be the better person. Have human compassion and learn what it truely means to forgive. Because if you live by this code, it shouldn't matter what happens when you die, it shouldn't matter what god is real, where you go, what religion you follow. If you are a good person with a good heart, you dont need to worry. And in the end, you will have touched a life in an important way. You will have helped another, and maybe even yourself.